Never In a Million Years Could I Ever Hurt So Much
by SweetTruth18
Summary: Sweet memories of the past intermingled with inevitable fate. Love will last Forever and a Day. Toya
1. Part One: Unbelievable

**Part 1: Unbelievable **

He told me that he'd be back before it went away, but it disappeared and he had not yet returned.

Never before in all of our days together had he broken a promise and something in the atmosphere felt terribly wrong.

Suddenly, the phone rang. It was Yuuhi. He sounded deeply distressed with a tone signifying that the most terrible thing in the world had occurred.

I waited for him to calm down, but he didn't. Choking through tears, he said, "Aya, it's Yuuhi. Tooya's been in a terrible accident." There was a slight pause and with hurt in his trembling voice he uttered, "Aya, they don't think Tooya's going to make it."

"Oh no… It can't possibly be true!" I thought.

I thought I knew too well what the future was going to bring. However, I didn't want to believe it at the time. As our hearts intertwined and we became kindred spirits, Tooya and I felt each other's every emotion and that even included hope. I knew that if hope resided in my heart for Tooya's miraculous recovery, he too would sense that notion and would be revitalized and uplifted. Sadly to say, after all that I had been through with my parents, my lovable twin brother, and entire family for that matter, my faith in fate and a better outcome was frail and scarcely alive. I desperately tried to feel differently, but I knew that there was really nothing I could do. Thus, I reluctantly went on with that sentiment, knowing he would feel everything everything that I expressed and even those that I would keep in my heart.


	2. Part Two: The Man of My Dreams Sweet Mem

Part 2: The Man of My Dreams Sweet Memories of Gone

Flashback

"Aya, I love you so much. You mean the world to me. If anything were to ever-"

"Hushh," I said, placing two fingers on his lips, "It's ok, don't speak. Words have no place here at this moment."

He pulled me closer into a gentle embrace, and as he did, I laid my head on his chest. He placed one hand on my abdomen. I took that hand, lightly kissed it and rested both my hands on his.

(The Perfect Hug

by Ivy Rose

"The perfect hug...  
Never known before  
the hug from you.  
Wrapped up, cuddled tight,  
our bodies joined as one.  
We quietly breathe  
in synchronized rhythms.  
Your arms holding me close,  
mine flung across your chest.

I listen to the beat  
of your heart, each pulse  
repeating love. I find myself  
in a cocoon of warm surrender,  
of tender satisfaction.  
Dreams only peak my desire,  
illumine the aroused heart  
of my late-night memory.

Star-shine rains down  
upon our tangled bodies,  
dusts us with the hope  
of another perfect hug.")

"Oh, Aya," he said, running his fingers through my hair.

It was our 5th year together, but ever since day one, I knew that we'd be together forever. We had such great empathy for one another. We were meant to be. His soft auburn eyes had pierced through my soul the day we met at my grandfather's ancient mansion. Just as in my dream, he had been by Savior.

Unexpectedly, tears began to trickle down his angelic face. With his burly arms, he placed me gently on the sofa and off the floor. He knelt down to one knee and pulled something deep from within his pocket.

At that moment, that night, as he spoke those words, I forgot about the room around me, the small white table, the beautiful roses, the unique crystal china, the pleasant music playing in the background. I amorously gazed into his familiar intense eyes and saw straight through to his soul.

Pulling the object out, he in turn gazed into my eyes and spoke.

"Aya, ever since the day I met you, I knew we'd be together forever. There has never been a night since that day when I have truly slept. I didn't want to close my eyes for fear of missing you, because dreams could never do to say who you really are. A week passed by since the day I met you and I still thought of you constantly. Each and every day, my love for you grew. I thought there was a limit to how much one could love another, but I have learned since then that there is no boundary for love. It can't be contained or set within limits. I love you with all of my heart and soul, and I'd do anything to make you happy."

I felt as if I was floating, lighter than air, even as he took hold of my hand, I felt as if I was in a dream. Tears began to well up in my eyes and as they rolled as rivers down my face, he brushed them away.

I tried to say something in return, but I was unable to as I had lost the ability to speak. My emotions were overwhelming. What was he saying?

With a now gentle and unquestionably humble tone, he uttered the most magical words, "Aya Mikage, would you like to spend the rest of your life with me?"

I didn't know what to do; I didn't know what to think. All I knew was that this man was the greatest man on earth and that I indeed did want to spend the rest of my life with him. He slipped the beautiful diamond ring onto my finger and kissed my hand.

I leapt from the sofa onto his front and he fell onto his back with a soft and strangely, pleasant thud. Yet again, I was still in such a daze.

We both laughed and giggled at each other in a gentle embrace for a little while on the dark, carpeted floor.

All of a sudden, he became very serious, turned me over so that I was on my back, laid over me, tipped my chin and pressed his soft lips over mine. I smiled and kissed him back in much the same way.

That kiss was the most passionate that I'd ever had in my entire life. Neither of us wanted it to end, and I believe that we broke the record for the longest kiss ever in the history of man. One of the most wonderful nights of my life… We had so much affection for one another.

End Flashback


	3. Part Three: Decisions to Last a Lifetime

**Part 3: Decisions to Last a Lifetime **

As I ran to the ER from the car of Mrs. Q as fast as I possibly could, memories of so many times passed by me. I couldn't think properly and the road which had seemed to be so bright and hopeful, curved around into nothingness. I thought of the day we met, our first date, our first kiss, the proposal and our dream-like wedding. Everything was just so perfect.

As I was sprinting to the nurse's station to find out where they had placed him, I saw his face. The tears started to roll once again.

"TOOYA," I cried with all of my might, "TOOOOOYA!"

Surprisingly, he was still semi-conscious after the trauma from the accident.

"…Aya…," he murmured in a voice that didn't seem to be his own. His beautiful face was scared with blood and bandages.

I ran to his bedside and became even more depressed as I saw the various tubes and instruments protruding from his saintly body. Though I knew I shouldn't have, I wept over his body in awe and shock of what had happened.

"This happens to other people, but not us. It can't happen to us! Oh, please let me wake from his nightmare! Please let this not be true." My soul screamed in my ears. "It can't happen. Not to T-tooya! Oh … Tooya."

I touched his once fiery, flaming red hair, now limp at his side.

It seemed as though I stood there for an eternity, crying my eyes out over the very person I loved the most in this world.

A doctor came, then two. They had come to comfort and prepare me for unimaginable loss.

I can't exactly remember what they said, as I was still in a daze, thinking of my sweet Tooya, laying there on the bed, motionless.

All I remember was them telling me that the chances of him surviving this accident were next to nothing and that he would soon be brain-dead. They gave me my options: to allow him to live on with the aid of machines in hopes of recovery or to allow him to pass in a few hours, machines gone.

I didn't know what to think, I didn't know what to say.

This had to be a bad dream. It just had to be!

As my world lay crumpling… as I stood, helpless…

This is not the time for self-pity! It's time for me to make a decision… a decision for Tooya.

"OH GOD! I can't do this. Oh God. Please… please. Just, just this once… Please let this Cup be taken from me." I had remembered the Bible. I had remembered prayer. I had remembered my Lord, the one whom I had abandoned for so long in search of the Hagoromo.

This should not have been the time and way to be returning, but I knew that He was there for me. Unlike I had, I knew he wouldn't abandon me. He would know just what to do. Everything was part of the Plan. But – but why Tooya?

Sadly, I told Him and my beloved, that I just couldn't do it. I just couldn't make the decision. I was too weak. I couldn't do it.

I fought, I cried, I struggled.

Why was I so weak? He was counting on me; the moment that he really needed me, why couldn't I make a decision. Why?

I wanted to die – to die and take Tooya with me. Then we could have been together forever! Wasn't that so? Wasn't it?

"Aya…………….." Tooya spoke, softer than in a whisper.


End file.
